| I've been officially computerless for over a week now, and I have to say, it's an interesting feeling. Possibly like cocaine withdrawal. I'm sitting in front of a computer now, but it's still, well, nothing really, compared to my own.
I suppose having my computer in the shop has taught me a few things; the unnecessary need to be connected to everyone else (I haven't been on AIM in ages, and I wonder if anyone's noticed.)
I was also hoping that I would be significantly more productive without a computer... but this has not happened, to my dismay. Being connected really is a double edged sword, having access to so much information, but not doing anything with it... now that I don't have it anymore, I'm free to do anything... but I choose to do nothing...
So what's happened in my life? Well.... For starters...
http://abclocal.go.com/kabc/story?section=news/local/los_angeles&id=6403296
LONG BEACH, Calif. (KABC) --
The body of an 18-month-old boy was found in a trash bin Friday in a Long Beach alley, police said.
The Dumpster where the baby was found is in a relatively residential
area of Long Beach. There are apartment homes and a retirement home in
the immediate area.
Investigators searched through a large, green rollaway trash bin
sitting off of the alley on the 300 block of Linden Avenue. That's
where a man made the gruesome discovery Friday afternoon. Police say
the man was looking through the Dumpster for bottles. "The
only thing we know about the child right now is that he is an
African-American male, about 18 months of age, deceased, found in a
Dumpster," said Lisa Massacani, Long Beach Police Department. "Right
now his identity and cause of death and the circumstances surrounding
that are undetermined at this point." Air7 was overhead shortly after Long Beach police got the call, around 4 p.m. Residents spoke to the man who claimed he discovered the lifeless child.
"When he dug down in there, he saw the leg, the foot and the leg first.
And then he moved the box on top of him. He moved the box and saw the
baby," said Long Beach resident Lorenzo Thompson. "He said the child was pretty badly beaten. And had some stab wounds," said Keith Gore, another Long Beach resident.
It is not known how long the baby had been in the Dumpster. However, on
Friday night a woman showed up on the scene and told police her young
grandson had been missing since Friday afternoon. Residents are alarmed by the disturbing discovery.
"It's a child. I mean, they're innocent. Who would harm an innocent
child? The child could do nothing that would be deserving of this,"
said Gore. If you have any information about this case, you should call the Long Beach Homicide Bureau at (562) 570-7244.
Now, for those of you that know me well enough, you know exactly where this is... That's my dumpster. I really don't know what to think about the situation. A part of me wishes to run away, but another of me asks, "What can I do to save my city?" I've been through a lot in my life (maybe not in relative terms,) but still, I wonder what God is trying to tell me when something like this happens. What can I do? Does God want me to do something? Or is this just another crazy happenstance?
My mother always tells me that we're moving as soon as we can, that this place isn't right for us, and that my dad was stupid for picking a location that's incredibly ghetto but so close to the water... that's rated as one of the worst beaches in California. What makes this my problem? My family? My city? Is it mine? I don't know.
I stayed up late last night watching Colbert Report, and Cornel West happened to come on. Funny how the only reason I became interested in him was because I heard his name mentioned in a Lupe Fiasco song. I wish I had discovered him earlier... and it makes me think that if I could do everything all over again, I would be philosophy major. Maybe I'm saying this because I haven't had any papers that needed to be done about this or that, but I do wonder if I think like everyone else does.
But that's probably not even the main issue; a bigger question is whether or not I can convey these thoughts. I suppose when someone such as Cornel West says something, people listen. People pay attention, and follow along. When he says something such as "comprehension is not a requisite of cooperation," you'll take the time to break it down. If some homeless bum in Berkeley does the same, odds are, you won't even remember it after walking ten feet away from him.
I wonder if my words mean anything. These words, somewhat trite at times, other times pretentious, other times hollow, will mean anything to anyone when I'm gone. I get about 4-5 comments a posting, if I'm lucky. But when I'm gone, these words, as will many other peoples words, will be lost among the world of cyberspace. Maybe they'll withstand the test of time forever. I probably won't be around to see that happen though.
Maybe this is a vain way of putting it all down. I like being appreciated; we all do. This is effectively a first draft writing, every article. There are a few however, that I know that I took a lot of time to shape it in the way I want it to. It's rare though, and it's evident that I didn't treasure them by the fact that I haven't had a method of really saying "this is one I want to keep with me forever."
At this point, these words do have meaning. To myself. I suppose that's all that this for; to help define my own identity through these sloppily posted writings, to hopefully shape me in a way that can put me in a position where people care.
Maybe it's these late nights that keep me up. Maybe it's the world that I'm finally beginning to see, but still do nothing about. I am a cog that has seemingly no relevance... seemingly. But there's always more to a story, and I like to think that there's more to me, even parts of which that even I haven't discovered yet.
I'll leave you with this; it's an article in the Washington Post that won a Pulizter, and reignitied my passion for classical music, which at one point I vowed to leave forever at one point in my life. Amazing what life can throw at you sometimes.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html
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